LawLIfeLeanings

29 November 2010

Love is that shiny coin with no tail... just two heads.. right? right?

So, some guy - his identity is irrelevant - chased after a girl for many many moons... after playing hard to get, she eventually relented.. she "agreed" to be his one and only, his pudding pie, his left butt-cheek... what he did not bargain for, however, was that she LITERALLY wanted to be a part of him.. always there, never far enough to be missed.. wasting his SMS bundle and well generally being a nuisance of a girlfriend... so he dumped her... His reason? "She's just toooooo into me!"


Now, you're probably thinking "Huh? He did what now? Guys never know when they have it good!"... When I heard this short tale, I was quick to applaud the young fella - assuming he is "young" of course... I applaud him for the year of patience and perseverance that he spent pursuing this girl and for cutting her off swiftly once he realised he'd caught himself a piranha instead of bream... He clearly learnt rather late that wasting time is... well... wasting time!


Thing is, though I sometimes blindly support whatever psycho stuff {wo}men choose to do when in love, I cannot for the life of me allow myself to back people who choose to make other people the centre of their universe... and thus cease to exist. This young lad did her a favour, I hope she thanked him..


Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being madly, deeply into someone... in fact, I would sooner stand in the rain singing some old ballad to woo a guy if I thought I stood a chance.. risk catching pneumonia even... I really would. Yes, that's crazy, but I would only do it if I was certain that he's into that kinda crazy stuff... if I was certain that he would run out and stand in the rain with me... that we would spend the next week sharing chicken soup trying to get better.. I really would. Thing is, I know better! {I also hate chicken soup}


The trouble is some girls (and many a guy.. "Hi ex number 2, 3 and 4" *evil grin*) are just psycho like that... always in their partner's pocket, stuck to them like glue... what starts off as a parasitic symbiotic relationship just fizzles into a parasitic relationship.. when you take up more than just space and time.. when you want to ALWAYS be with them and suck them dry of life. Relationships aren't meant to kill the individuals and merge them into one ugly amorphous mass of neediness, they are meant to strengthen the individuals.. Y'know, that "winning couple swag"... the ever elusive "perfect pair"... she doesn't pretend to enjoy Saturday afternoon football and he doesn't go shoe shopping with her, but they work out just fine... Each brings their star quality to the table, appreciates the other's space and respects it.. Dial 0800 PIPE DREAM if you feel me on this.. "Number you have dialled is not available"? Snap! Keep trying....



Peace, Love and Gruyere...



17 November 2010

Stuck in the mud... dead in the water...

In the last few days I have begun to accept more and more that South Africa is a nation divided... where race used to be the greatest cleavage, class and socio-economic status has comfortably replaced it.. much to the chagrin of those who coined the term way back when we have "redefined" apartheid... So much so that if you are a poor, black African living in one of the biggest shanty towns in the world, best believe your death is meaningless. The "investigation" into your death will be conducted by a novice desk officer and nothing will come of it.. On the other {manicured} hand, if you are a touring foreigner, visiting Africa to experience the glamourisation of poverty, rest assured yours will be the "death of the year"...or at least the week...



Yet... EVERYDAY... every single darn day.. at least one murder is committed in this country... at LEAST... most of the perpetrators never make it to the dock and may kill again... the few who do find themselves in court will mostly be acquitted - usually on a technicality, sometimes because despite clear witness testimony "there just wasn't enough evidence" to convict - and often because prosecuting these poor murderers is "a waste of state resources"... after all the NPA has the murderer of big fat fish like Brett Kebble to deal with! Even in death some animals are more equal than others... *oink*



While my heart and thoughts go out to the family and friends of the deceased honeymooner, I can't help but think of her as an unwilling martyr, one whose death has in some way got people talking about the rampant violent crime within these borders in which we find ourselves... The media... the vultures that they are, have found a carcass upon which to feast once more.. {The pun, while regrettable is purely intentional}...and we - the public - can {re}start to think about crime in South Africa...



After months of living in a relative state of psychological safety after the South African Police Service (SAPS)'s head honcho released data showing that there was a marked decline in the incidence of violent crime, we were once again reminded that we are in danger... So, please go back to locking your doors {your car, your flat, your office, even the trap door from which words spew every day... lock EVERY door} because WE ARE NOT SAFE.. Were we ever? Seriously. Were we?



It took the hijacking and killing of a Brit for us to be woken up from our self-induced slumber or complacency to realise that crime is real.. it was real BEFORE the honeymooners ventured into Gugulethu and it will continue to be real for minutes, hours, days, months, years to come if we do not commit ourselves to addressing the root cause of our societal malaise.



As bad a series as it is, I can't help but think of "Ghost Whisperer"! With all the restless souls purportedly floating somewhere close to the Ozone layer hoping their killer will be brought to justice, it would explain the growing cancer eating our society up... I'll bet my love-handles PW Botha is smiling his wry crocodile smile right now, rubbing his wrinkled hands somewhere in the doldrums of an imagined hell, thinking "I DID leave a legacy!"...


In the words of my friend Kwezi {duly tagged to avoid plagiarism charges}: "Township blacks you can kill other township blacks fine, but kill a tourist and that will be bad for income and we will set up a tourist desk, and give tourists an escort every time they are going into a dangerous area. fuck that shit."



So? Does anyone else see the elephant in the room? We painted it in rainbow colours in 1994, but we were too fixated with the idea of finally being "democratic" that we neglected to chase the damn mammal out! Trouble with elephants is they need to be constantly fed... I vote we get rid of the damn thing... the stench of its dung is not good for the house in which we live... though it will linger for a few more years, at least it will eventually go... right?



10 November 2010

Do you know the one you love?

So... I've told myself that by the time I'm 30 I want to have visited at least half of the African countries... because I cannot continue to claim that I love this continent if I do not know it intimately... If I have not laughed with the Dinka at dusk, danced with the Masai at dawn or eaten amongst the pyramids like those from the House of Ptolemy .. I have told myself that until then, Africa will be the love I speak about, the love I hope to know, the one with whom I shall spend the rest of my life... but not that I truly love... not yet...



Yes, I am committed to my continent...It is here that I was born and it is here that I shall take my last breath... until then.. until the day I return to the bowels of the African earth, I will fight for it and help to make it strong... and when Africa has risen from its ashes and stands up high, I will creep into the shadows and watch my love shine... not because I do not want to be seen with it, but because I want the rest of the world to fall in love with it the way I have.. to see it's beautiful face and dare not lift a gun to tear it to shreds... to see it's evergreen glow and want to nurture it all the days of their life... What is love, but a selfish emotion if it is not shared? But, let me not contradict myself, I cannot claim to love Africa yet... I do not know it...



So, I ask you... do YOU know the one you "love"? Do you know their mind? their body? their soul? their essence? If you don't... how dare you claim to love them? How very dare you?